Chapter 19

There is always a silver lining!

As I’d mentioned earlier, living with the cancer was for me not too hard because of the tremendous support around me. And the sex question was more about how my illness was affecting Rachel’s life, as opposed to whether I was still feeling horny whilst my feet, lips, gums and hands blistered. So, I decided to make a conscious effort that night and ‘get jiggy with it’. Without going into, shall we say, blow-by-blow detail, I noticed that my ‘old boy’ looked bigger than usual. Excellent, I thought, chemo gives you a bigger dick. I was however, wrong! What chemo does do is make your hair fall out – mine just didn’t fall off my head, that’s all. I hadn’t noticed because, this might sound strange but “bare” with me; I’d spent the majority of the last few weeks looking backwards when going to the loo. The Poo List was to be completed if at all possible – little personal goal not essential for recovery from colon cancer. I hadn’t been concentrating on the rest of my plumbing, and at some time over the past fortnight or so all of my pubic hair had fallen off. I was completely bald. No back, sack and crack wax needed by me. It was like a bag of giblets without the bag – sexy! Now, men’s propensity for preferring a ladies genital hair to be named after South American countries is well known – nothing worse than impromptu flossing I always say. Luckily for me it seemed that the feeling was a mutual one, or so Rachel assured me.

“Oh! Baby, all of your pubes have gone,” laughed Rachel. “Looks bigger though,” she added enthusiastically, smiling. “Do you think it still works?” she enquired with added impishness.

“Suppose we’d better find out,” I replied, grinning insanely. Game On! So feeling smoother and more streamlined, I proceeded to see if everything still worked, and thankfully it did. Remember, where there’s a Willy, there’s a way!

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